Lost

When we were hiking last week, we passed a couple and on her shirt it read: all who wander are not lost. And it made me smile and think of my mother.

My mom was a world class wanderer but also a world class get lost-er. She would declare she never got so lost she could not find her way home. (And she had a point) However, there was a large interstate loop by our house. She knew when you got on you went “right” to the mall (about 20 minutes). She did that part well… But getting home she was never sure if it was east or west or north or south. But she knew it was a loop, so she would hop on and some days it took her 20 minutes to get home and other times it took 90 minutes to get home.

What was fascinating to me, is that this never bothered her… She saw it as part of a bigger picture, maybe something cool to see on that route that day, but no worries. Never so lost she couldn’t get home.

I admire that… Wish I was more like that as I tend to be a tab A must fit in slot B, if you are not five minutes early you are late, what is the shortest distance, type of person. I dream of being a wanderer or even a road less traveled sort of person; however I don’t ever see me being a knowingly going 70 minutes the wrong way sort of person. The 17 year old is probably lost as we speak… Maybe it skips a generation.

Hello old friend

In October 2012, I read a book that made me so sad when it was over. I loved the twists and turns. I fell in love with the characters. I marveled at the author’s imagination. Wanted to be her when I grew up. When I finished the book, I found myself almost mad there were no other masterpieces floating around of hers for me to read. How dare she not write more and more and more.

BN was part of the latest e-book settlement. And after seeing my credit, I went back to my nook bookshelf. I smiled at all the titles from 2009-2013ish. I remembered periods of what was happening in my life by looking at the titles. Some pure entertainment, some recommend, and some the next in a long line from prolific authors.

and then I saw Night Circus. Oh, how I had loved you, I thought. I quickly googled the author to see what was new. I read she was working on some things, struggling a bit and being human. Now, I not only want to be her when I grow up, but think she would make an awesome friend.

I pulled my copy off the cloud and started to read… Slower this time, more savoring, less rush to the end. New things catch my eye and old friends are embraced. I allow myself no more than three chapters a day. It is still an amazing book. Tip of my hat to you, Erin Morgenstern… And if you are in the area, pop in… I have a bottle of wine chilling so we can toast the circus.

I like to MUVE it, MUVE it

I will wait a second for you to get the picture of King Julian out of your head but feel free to hum the song as background music for the post.

Multi-user virtual environments (MUVE) came up as a school topic. Explain these to me, I asked the 17 year old. I don’t know what they are. I have never used one. What does it do? Why would one do this?

He sighed. “You are playing one right now.” I looked around my kitchen to see how this had gotten into my home. I denied such action. “The hidden picture game you play. Your rankings are up there with other people around the world. It is multi-user.” I nodded, ok maybe I was cutting edge; maybe I did know more than I thought. “When you were addicted to Trivia Crack, again virtual multi-user.” Hardly addicted, I countered, but he made his point.

So, I said prodding this information source more, how would libraries use MUVE?

He covered lots of the ground I had thought of… Contests for age groups or topics. New book releases that are promoted by some multi-user games. And also covered some of the things I struggled with…finding good multi-user games, that were ad free and appropriate. I also struggled with being anyone you want to be on the Internet: how does sign up work? How do you make sure in your addition contest, it is really 5-6 year olds that are playing?

I think libaries can MUVE it, but a careful game plan, lots of prior research and networking with those who have done it successfully is imperative.

Life Skills

We are in a “cabin” in the Smokeys for a week. And by cabin, I mean there is hot/cold running water, full kitchen, air conditioning , hot tub and four TVs (don’t get me started in the plethora of TVs and no books) But we are hiking and fishing, grilling and playing board games as a family at night. Not totally unplugged but more so than at home.

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It has given me a chance to finish my book, How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims. It has been a good read for me for a few reasons. First, I feel like it supports the hands off parenting I have been working hard to embrace for the last three years. It has not always been a popular choice in my network. (You are letting him to WHAT? Alone?)

Secondly, it has helped me to refocus on these last two years of high school. What do I really want to teach him, make sure he understands? How to change a car tire? Advanced math? How to write a cover letter? Don’t get me wrong, the child could survive, but I also feel I do a lot of the things he needs to learn because my OCD self just finds it easier to do myself.

It also has been mind blowing to read the examples of parents who didn’t let go, who tried to micro manage the next step and the results. For instance, the man who lost his job because his mother complained to his boss about the long hours the twenty something man was working in his job in NYC. Yikes!!

Gail suggested the book to me and I think summed it up best. “It’s a great pep talk about doing what’s best for your kid even when it pushes you outside of your comfort zone or societal expectations. There will be parts that will feel uncomfortable and make you rethink the way you do things, but I think that’s healthy.”

 

Flowers

Went to a visitation yesterday and funeral today. I have never seen so many flower arrangements for one service. There had to be between 30-40. All sizes, all flowers, all colors. Cut. Live. Artificial. Lovely notes; very thoughtful. And yet I couldn’t help but reflect back when my mother died and after the visitation and the service, giving the eulogy and the after food (does that have a name?!) I had to go back to the funeral home to collect the pictures and mementos that we had displayed to reflect all the different aspects of her life… and the very kind director asked me what I wanted to do with the flowers. I was a deer in headlights. They were pretty and thoughtful and lovely. But I wanted the day over. I didn’t want a live plant that I was going to kill in 6 weeks and feel guilty about that death. I was overwhelmed by the scent. She gently told me that she could make sure they were enjoyed by others if I wanted. I said, let’s let them be enjoyed by others, thank you.

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When I was selling my house prior to this one, I would buy fresh flowers for the showings. I promised myself that if the house ever sold… I would buy them for myself, for no special occasion but for me. And I do. And it makes me smile. Life is too short to not have pretty flowers around. You should probably go and buy yourself some flowers today, you deserve them.

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Anne Frank is quoted to having said, “dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.” I saw that quote for the first time today… and it stuck with me. When you are buying yourself some flowers, maybe pick some up for someone who needs a day brightened… random acts of kindness will change the world.

Don’t eat chicken broth with a fork

Facebook and LinkedIn are two different social networking tools. They both have their strengths and weaknesses for both personal use and in a professional environment, but I don’t think of them as interchangeable.

LinkedIn provides more of an individual resource and job network. Connections are formed based on (hopefully) prior knowledge of a person’s strengths with work related talents. Personally, I try to never connect to someone I would not recommend IRL for a job or support their claims in their professional field. I use this resource as quality over quantity; however I am not sure that everyone has that same standard.  Getting ready to enter a new career field, I can very much see the benefit in stretching my network beyond my current connections.

Facebook is a fascinating platform. It can informative and an easy to use marketing tool for businesses. They can list everything from daily specials, to hours of operation, to upcoming events. This makes it a very attractive network for libraries and even special library programs. Personally, it can be a quagmire of relationship ties and past lives. (Uh no Facebook, I’d rather NOT be friends with my ex-boyfriend’s sister who tried to poison my milkshake in high school… I’ve sort of moved on, but thanks for asking) The advertisements make it a bit less appealing for a broad audience but normally the ads are not questionable.

My new school, IUPUI (go Jaguars!) uses Facebook well. They update frequently but not too frequently. Information is timely and well presented. Topics they post are mostly neutral and reflect what is happening at the school.

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With any social networking, it is important to know your audience, know your platforms strengths and weaknesses and to maintain your site so that it is fresh and appealing and user friendly.

Do I have a Tumbler?

I asked the 17 year old. He sighed. Yes, yes you do. You have used it once.

I’m not a newbie to the web (though I have been known to jokingly call it Those Newfangled Interwebs). I belong to a very specific discussion board and have been on that board since 2006. No, it is not people who own three toed sloths and wear only green socks, but close. I have had a Facebook account and got rid of a Facebook account. I don’t Tweet. I never MySpaced. I Google+ when the mood hits me and have never Instragramed. At least, I don’t think I have an Instagram. I will own up to being a bit of a Pinterest junkie. My board of Food I Like to Pretend I Will Make, is quite a cornucopia of taste delights.  There are probably at least 27 different social networks that I have never even heard of, much less used.

And I am ok with the “not using” them. I’d like to see them, understand them, see why they appeal to this group or that, but I have reached the saturation point with social networks. As with my IRL friendships, I’d rather have a handful of really good ones I can count on, that help me balance as a person and bring different parts into my life, than a giant overwhelming flood of exhausting maintenance and information.

You kids should probably get off my lawn now, while I go and try to find my Tumbler.