Not everything will be relevant or necessary, but it might be handy to have this all in one place, plus you get a sense of check off satisfaction if it is “already done”. I tried to add comments where they might be helpful and this will not have everything as I personally keep it as a document and then update it every time I have to go through this. Hugs!

Right Away or Prior

• Contact necessary people who need to know as soon as possible (friends, family etc)
• Contact funeral home, set up time to discuss service
• Decide where body/cremains will be buried/spread (and if transportation to service is necessary)
• Draft Obit (or at least gather facts: Parents names, dates, education levels etc), find good picture
• Meet with Funeral home, decide cover and poem/saying for the little memento booklet thing and get obit placed
• Mention number of copies of death certificate needed (normally 5 -10 depending who needs them and if they need originals)
• Order headstone or burial plot if none, confirm funeral home will take care of death date addition if stone is already there
• Cancel any dr appointments, automatic Rx refills, amazon auto refills
• SSA should be contacted by funeral home
  • If on Medicare, the Social Security office will inform them of the death, but if had Medicare Prescription Drug Coverage (Part D), a Medicare Advantage plan and/or a Medigap policy, you need to call to cancel.
• If employed, contact employer or any volunteer work.
• Sit still for a moment and just breathe

Bit Later

• Secure the home and remove all trash and food.
• Forward any mail or check the mail occasionally. If they get a lot of junk mail, you can go on the Postal Site ASAP and there is an option to try to get that shut down. At some point, notify the post office that they are deceased. Depending on the amount of mail they get, you might want to wait and not forward it to your house. There is also a place on their site to do this.
• Look for a will. Other relatives may know if there is a will. It may be valid, it may not. But look for one.
• Make a list of any assets and debts they may have; this gives you a starting place. And if it is a small list all the better, but it is all the utilities, insurances (house and car), medical, po box, storage areas, rental properties, pension plans, IRA, checking and savings accounts just anything you can think might be out there.
• Get passwords for any accounts, confirm if utilities were being paid electronically and billed electronically. Some will allow you to turn them off with out much information, some will take your work or the obit. Some are going to want the death certificate and your first born or favorite pet.
• If there are any active social media sites you need to close them or make them memorials if you can. Future self will thank you when you don’t get a Wish X a Happy Birthday, five years from now.
• Get their email password for any accounts and decide if you are going to monitor or delete the account. (this helps with identity theft; if deleting I would wait about a month to make sure no bills are being sent there).
• Check for Lock box or fire box, secure important papers (will, passports, birth certificates etc) If you find a will, secure it. You will need this and the death certificate to present to the court if it needs to go to probate. (might not, might depending on the estate and the parties involved)
• Hunt for pictures you want on the boards if you are doing that for the visitation.
• If there is a mortgage on the residence, the estate will need to continue to pay until this asset is dissolved.
• Check where the house taxes stand, bring them up to date if not, mentally prepare for spring/ fall taxes as this process does not move fast.
• See if you can find past tax returns to make it easier to file the final one after the assets are distributed. You mark DECEASED on the top of the last return.
• Contact life insurance if any
• Contact retirement plans if any
• Supposed to cancel his driver’s license (you need a death certificate; I forgot this one and no one hunted me down.)
• You can contact all three credit reporting agencies and let them know of the passing. Again, have never done this, but you can.
• Deal with the automobiles, if any.
• See who was mowing the grass, shoveling snow etc and can they keep doing that.

Day of Service

• Prior drop off memorial table items
• Bring photo boards
• Bring music if decide to use
• Decide prior to the service what should be done with the flowers after the service (no wrong answer, you can take them all, you can say, please make these go to a good home and the funeral home might take care of that for you, they always have for me). This one blindsided me the first time and made me cry. I had held it together for so long and it was one decision too many.
• Decide prior what should be done with the cremains, if this is necessary. In a who is going to pick them up, take them manner. Not in a what are you going to do with them. My brother hung out in my dining room for over a year.
• Funeral home will probably give you a to go pack and it might have thank you notes included to complete. Sometimes, they give you a list of donations if it goes through them.  It will have left over memorial cards and the register.

The House/Apartment

It really matters how you want to tackle it. I have done it both ways, slowly and methodically when I did my grandparents and scorch the earth in three days when I did my mom’s plce. It really matters what your end goal is, just to get the house clean and sell or to make money on the contents and try to break even on your outlay over the next few months. Once you decide that, then you move forward.

• Decide what you personally want to keep from the house if anything and take that out. There is no wrong here. I took a plaster bank that had the value of maybe 50 cents, but to me priceless. My brother took the big TV.
• Rent small storage shed if needed
• Decide what if anything you want others to keep or mementoes you know they might appreciate. A friend let all the grandkids pick a piece of costume jewerly the grandma wore. At cleaning she just put it in a big box and months later tackled it.
• Decide if you want to do an estate sale for the furniture and other things (again depends on end goal and I am not sure how much an auction dude is cost wise, and sometimes charities will just send a big old truck for the furniture)
• See if there is any furniture that extended family might want/use
• Any medical equipment owned and in good shape see if nursing home facilities or other people might need, if not goodwill/ thrift agencies are also an option.
• Any library books returned if you can, if not the library will get over it
• Collect lots of boxes and trash bags before days of sorting.
  • Decide goodwill / charity
  • Decide trash
  • Decide other donations
  • Decide if you need to rent a dumpster (did this, was helpful)
• Clean it well (or pay someone to clean it well)
• List it and sell it

• It is OK to box things that you cannot decide on at this time and store them. You are raw, it is hard to make decisions, maybe you want the teacup she never used but you remember being there.
• Your camera is your friend. If you think you want to remember it but not store it. Take pictures, make an album later when you are ready.
• This is hard, give yourself grace and days off from this circus of crazy emotions.

I think that is the biggest thing, there is so much. And you are tired and overwhelmed and maybe sad or relived or numb. Short of being giddy and high fiving people, I don’t think there is a wrong emotion when dealing with this. Humans have a lot of stuff and a lot of connections and those do not magically go away when they leave the earth. Hopefully this checklist gives you a starting point or at least the knowledge you are not alone.