I swear I have been trying to learn this my entire life. Ok, maybe not the first few years as it probably was all about me at that point or at least felt like it to my parents, I am sure.

I have saved memes that says something about not worrying about what people are thinking about you because they aren’t, they are more focused on themselves. But like many others, I fall into the trap to the OMG I have not heard from this friend. I must have done something; they probably hate me for what I did. (Spoiler: their email was in my junk mail for some reason).

A month or so ago I provided caregiver respite for this lovely couple. The spouse was going to an event and Pat (name for ease of writing), who was bedbound,slept a great deal and could not be left alone.  We all hit it off and chatted a bit prior to the spouse’s departure and it was mentioned that maybe I could be of help in the future. I said I would love to help. Pat napped and we watched the Cubs together. It went very well, and I felt good helping. Fast forward a week or so and I had never heard from them. I felt bad because I really thought I could help provide respite and that we connected.  Another week went by and I continued to doubt myself and was like how do you fail at volunteering?!

A lightbulb came on. I checked the obituaries. Pat had passed two days after we watched the Cubs together. Not about me at all. Not in the slightest. Even after all these years I need to be reminded of that.