I was running errands over the weekend by myself and this U2 song came on and I was listening to the lyrics and singing along. Another song came on that annoyed me so I turned off the radio.
The more I thought in the silence, the more it became very apparent to me that I was a bit stuck. I have spent the last two to four weeks reacting to things, shutting down a bit, shutting people out a bit, granted still helping others and doing RAOK, but not really letting anyone do the same to me. I think the word mindful has become a bit overused but to be honest, I have not been being very mindful. Participating but not engaging, if you will.
And I am not really sure why. No major AH HA moments when I pondered that one. Maybe because it is easier? Easier to have people call and ask you if you want to get together. Easier to send a funny card than meet for lunch? Easier to join a team of strangers playing Gopher Golf online than interact with live humans that can look you in the eye? Yeah easier might be some of it.
So this week I have told myself I will refocus. I will be more mindful of my actions and reactions. I won’t be the person on the phone who just sends emojis but someone who asks questions because I want to be involved. I will reach out with the intent to spend time with humans I can look in the eye and leave my Gopher Golf team.
Life really is too short to just go through the motions. And it is so much more rewarding to live, really live in a moment and not get stuck.