My commute is about 40 minutes, depending on road construction (is there ever NOT road construction?) and during that time I listen to about 5 local radio stations that have local talent and a few rebroadcasts from the world around. One is ‘the kids’ as I think of them, syndicated, thirty somethings, funny at times and channel change worthy at other times.
Today was a discussion with one of them about attempting to contact his mom after ten years and how it went. (spoiler, not the best). But one of the other people on the show said, I get why you are angry, disappointed and sad, however she acted, from what you have told us for the time we have known you, true to who she is. AND it is you that is upset because you hoped for a change.
And I felt for the dude, I really did because you could tell by his words and his emotions, he knew they were right but damn there was a bit of him that believed in magic and it didn’t happen.
I had that happen today. I wanted that magic and it did not happen. Talking to a good friend, I did see that it was absurd to think this would end differently but still, really? And I could get mad and stew and rage and call the person out… but for what exactly? They have rebuilt the order of events in a way that works best for them. What do I gain by calling out Oz behind the curtain? And having a battle of I am right and you are wrong? Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% right, I was there. But what do I gain in that conversation? Bragging rights? Blue ribbon?
Nothing. Not really. Because I wanted magic, I wanted the illusion and that is not real. Life is real. It is ugly, and gritty and filled with misdirection and ruse. Life is amazingly wonderful at times and it is also bottom of the trash can you always mean to hose out but never do at times. It is what it is…but to finish the saying on the shirt I saw (and am tempted to buy) .. but it will be what you make it.