Winter Solstice

Shortest day and longest night. Four days before Christmas. We went to dinner tonight in a local pub on one side, family dining on the other. It was mostly couples when we got there. I had worked all day and was tired, tired of people, tired of people not actively trying to parent kids, edging on bone weary tired and just needed a meal, a beer and to laugh.

I enjoyed catching up on the day with my husband while sipping my beer and some fried mushrooms.

It is like that other night he said to me. And I looked around and then I listened to the chatter from the other tables. So much holiday angst. One couple came in and the dude was just spoiling for a fight, he wanted nachos and she wanted to look at appetizers and he was ticked his brother and father didn’t call and … it just went on.

Another table kept declaring they were NOT going to help with her car issues and how many times was that and what do you think? Am I right? Am I right!? We cannot keep doing this.

All were not head turning conversations (ok, the one loud FUCK that! was a bit) but the vibes and the grey Eeyore cloud over each table just made me sad. Holidays are hard, there are so many expectations and you are stretched so very thin. And we misplace the focus and the reason. Which to me is kindness. Everyone needs just a small sliver of more kindness.

There was a man at a table near us that reminded me of my brother. Not like GAH Donald as come back to earth to haunt me but more single dude, health issues eating less than healthy but keeping to himself for the most part. I pulled my favorite waitress aside and paid for his meal. I so felt I needed to do that.

Not sure if I did it for him or for me or to help balance the atmosphere in all the negative holiday vibes in the room. I just felt I needed to do it… and then leave. And be so very thankful to go home to my quiet, kind, love filled home and hope I helped to balance the cosmic scales.

Shortest day. Longest night. Sort of makes me wish I would have drawn a card this morning.

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