A friend of mine just semi-retired. It was not entirely her decision. She went to school for her profession, spent over 25 years in that field. The actual core of her job, she loved. Loved dealing with clients and the actual work itself. The company had undergone quite a few leadership changes in her tenure. She had absorbed a lot of very idiotic changes to the corporate structure which made no sense to the product they were supplying to the client or how to deliver it. It was, to put it nicely, becoming quite a goat rodeo with no win in sight.

Not to mention it was affecting home life, sleep and mental well-being. Lots of notice was given, which the company wasted, and last minute they told her clients she was retiring. The end was an amazingly large cluster, which made her feel less valued. I am sure that if her clients were involved in a “retirement” party, there would have been bubbly drinks, speeches and maybe pinata.

Parents of Generation X (loosely speaking) were very loyal to their companies and the companies in turn were fairly loyal to them. You went to work, worked hard, they paid you, maybe had a pension plan and you hit 65 and retired. Maybe even with a watch, a clock or plaque. There might even be a little party. As my generation started into the workforce, we had this idea of what it would be like from our parents. However, we also saw that times were changing quickly. Pension plans were being terminated and 401(k) plans, often without matching contributions, were introduced. Companies were absorbed by other companies, and any redundancy was met with showing people the door. ‘Kay Bye!  I ran into many more endings than my parents had, as I tried to find my place in the workforce but every time I left a job, it felt like I had failed to some degree. (Yes, even Ponderosa in my teens, but I really did not miss wearing polyester).

There was always an underlying theme to my life that ending equaled failure. Maybe it is because I was taught to just “rub dirt on it and get up” or that “nothing is hurt but your pride”. My Father-in-law spent his entire career for a company. Company hit hard times and it closed, like no longer exists. He was one of the last people, if not the last, out the door. When he would talk about it, he would say he was fired, with a voice that was tinged with failure. My grandfather had a similar experience and took it very personally.

I have really tried to reframe endings in my mind. To see them more like chapters in a book and not failures. Without the endings you would not have space to have beginnings. When my mother was alive, I tried to visit her every day after work for 30 minutes or more. When she passed, even though it was not a shock, it was devastating. Not only was there lots to do and think about, I also had more time on my hands. After about a year, I went back to school to get my MLS. Had I not had that ending, I would not have had that beginning.

I enjoy reading. And up until about 9 years ago, if I started a book I had to finish it. Even if I hated it and reading it was work. I would struggle through it, not wanting to give up. Conservatively, there are about 80,000 English language fiction novels published a year (does not take into consideration non English language books, nonfiction or self-published). I am never going to read all of them, so why was I wasting my time on books I don’t enjoy? Instead just read ones I do. My time is limited. Your time is limited. Endings aren’t failures they just help to bring beginnings of things you might really enjoy or new things you want to learn.

My gut says my friend is going to take a month or four and figure out the new beginning. And it is going to be a great new chapter!